Thursday, December 30, 2010

The 10 Biggest Pop Culture Fails of 2010

I unleashed my Top 10 Biggest Pop Culture Fails of 2010 list over at tumblr earlier today, dropping a few of my selections each hour. Unlike last year, the list isn't rated and probably provides just a small snapshot in the world of pop culture events. In any event, enjoy the full list after the jump. As if isn’t black enough (in terms of his skin color) he decided to add an extra layer of that Gucci Mane lip color to his skin and showed up in some odd super-hero outfit at the 2010 MTV Video Music Awards. Then, he took to Twitter afterwards defending his action. Some folks called his black face move racially-motivated. Nah, I think it was just stupid.

Soulja Cent and their jailhouse pose: Two of the most homophobic dudes in Hip-Hop posed in the most homophobic cover, in what many considered a pretty comprising position. Then some XXL folks jumped on Twitter trying to defend the cover? Maaaaannn, listen: until someone can tell me why 50’s hands were placed where they were, I can’t listen to any other excuse or explanation. Thanks.

Kelly, Killey, Kiely Williams: If you know me, you knew Kiely was going to make this list. Remember that gawd awful “Spectacular” video? What was she thinking? And she had the nerve to try to defend the video saying it was a positive-negative, spotlighting what people do while in the club. B*tch, please. That video was all about ho sh*t, plain and simple. Can’t get around that. Not never. No way.

“Your (white) body is a Wonderland”: Remember when John Mayer talked about some mysterious “hood pass” and dropped the n-bomb in his interview with Playboy and then went on to say how his peen was David Duke? Oh. Okay. This recklessness went down for Johnny in the early part of 2010 and I still think it was a ploy for him to bed some beautiful black women because black women don’t like rejection.

Free (Insert Rapper Here): This pop culture fail extends well beyond 2010 but needs to be mentioned yearly it seems. Rapper X (no, not DMX but it fits, I suppose) commits a crime or violates probation and is sent to jail and folks jump on social networks and purchase t-shirts with “Free (Insert Rapper Name Here).” What a waste of time. It seems like in the last few years part of being a rapper includes going to jail. Every time I see, “Breaking News: (insert rapper name here) was arrested” I think, why is this ‘breaking news?’ It’s expected news, right? As if this all wasn’t ridiculous enough, there was an article written back in February about “Why Barack Obama Should Pardon Lil Wayne From Jail.” How about this: free someone who’s innocent and not some jackass who commits a crime, admits to committing it and is sentenced to serve some time. Cut out the nonsense. Find some real heroes folks.

What’s beef, beef is when you … you respond late?: MC Hammer and Lil Kim obviously missed the part of school where if you didn’t respond to a diss in 10 seconds, you lost. There are rules to this game; I mean I wrote me a manual. Both of these folks get the ill late pass on their comeback attempts. First MC Hammer with Jay-Z: I’m still trying to figure out what Jay said that was wrong, considering MC Hammer did blow $30 million and it did hurt him financially. His response 30 days later was horrible. And then, seven days after his diss track that did nothing but diss himself, he called the beef off. This will go down as one the dumbest 37 days in Hip-Hop. As if the Hammer stuff wasn’t dumb enough, here comes Lil Kim and her late attempts to attack Nicki Minaj. Kim’s “Black Friday” was horrible. She’s obviously lost. Anyone who really thinks Kim had any bars worth mentioning on that track are just as lost. Then Kim had the nerve to say she’d do a track with Nicki Minaj for $7 million but the track would have to be on Kim’s album. Yeah, both Kim and Hammer lost and are trying to be relevant again. Well, they’re not. Sorry.

Imma let you finish but you were the worst part of my presidency: Did George Bush release a book and say that Kanye West saying that George Bush “doesn’t care about black people” was one of the lowlights of his presidency? Then did Kanye apologize to George Bush? And then did Matt Lauer milk the situation more? Why are we still talking about this? I’ll stop now.

Hide ya internet, Antoine Dodson is…: Antoine Dodson didn’t make my biggest pop culture fails list until he released that gawd awful “Chimney Intruder” video, taking himself from a character to an over-the-top caricature who milked his 15 minutes of fame into a half of a year. Perhaps the big part of this fail comes from the consumer. I’ll take a part of that responsibility too. Who would have thought there would be an Antoine Dodson for every season? Oh, did you miss the Halloween costume and Christmas track? If so, good for you. We’ve had enough. I’m waving the white flag, Mr. Dodson. Sure, Antoine went from ashy to classy, but know this Antoine, as Craig Mack once said, “you won’t be around next year.”

Connect the Dots: Montana Fishburne wanted to quickly rise to the top but instead became a fail of epic proportions when she announced she was jumping into the porn business. This also made her father, Laurence Fishburne, look like an ass. Speaking of ass, I’d like to list her chocolatey-chip, pimpled-up ass as another pop (pun intended) failure of 2010. Oh and she should’ve stayed in school because she wasn’t really even good in porn. Not that I know – I’m just saying. Ha!

Hard to be humble when you stuntin on a JumboTron: Oh, LeBron. I know why you left Cleveland – it was a business decision. Your contract was up. You want a ring. I get that. The way you did it though, yeah not really that smart. That “The Decision” special thing on ESPN was probably the worst hour of television. And the fact that you didn’t make phone calls to folks prior to it makes it even more of a failure.

Honorable Mentions:

Jersey Shore of Miami: Yeah, geography fail. Or, a failure due to the lack of foresight that the show might be bigger than Jersey or its shore. But even beyond the cast moving a show called Jersey Shore to Miami, the show in general might go down as one the biggest pop culture fail of the decade. Yeah, I know they’re getting money but at what cost to us?

The American Dream (puberty deferred): Remember when Dream did a remake of Aaliyah’s “One in a Million”? My ears still bleed and my heart still aches over it. I feel like Quincy Jones somehow indirectly put Dream up to covering this song since Quincy is on a war path to wreck remake classics. The remake was karaoke at best. And this is blasphemy at its worst.

Tyrese and Twitter: Bro, quit tweeting. Seriously.

Bristol Palin is a Star: How was Bristol Palin a star enough to be on Dancing with the Stars? Don’t answer that because a handful of the stars on each season aren’t stars or haven’t been for at least 10 years.

Sherri Shepard Loves Prince: Remember when The View’s Sherri Shepherd poured her heart out on live network TV? Remember when she said she dreamed about making love to Prince while Prince was sitting next to her and that brother jumped up faster than a dude finding out the baby wasn’t his on Maury? Oh. Okay.

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