Saturday, November 05, 2011

Justin Bieber: "Billy Jean is my lover but the kid ain't my son"

I work with a lot of women during the day job. So, with that comes overhearing random conversations on a range of topics (read: mostly gossip). This morning, Justin Bieber was their point of discussion. Three adult women talking about the Justin Bieber paternity thing had me feeling some type of way. But acknowledging the paternity discussion ultimately means I need to acknowledge that the youngster one step away from looking like Rachel Maddow has had sexual relationships with women. Which, I guess would make sense considering he looks like Rachel Maddow. Uh, allegedly of course.

Anyway, during the conversation someone said, "his good boy image is gone forever." Then I'm like, "it's a publicity stunt. He's trying to become a rapper now."

Ride with me for a second.
We've long known that there is no such thing as bad publicity, even bad publicity. We've done away with street teams and have turned to the Internets and social media for delivering news and (mis)informing the people. As we've assumed (known) for years, most rappers turn to criminal acts (allegedly, of course) to create an edgy image in rap. But we know Justin Bieber wouldn't last a minute and thirty seconds in jail (see: one step away from being Rachel Maddow comment above). So he's not going the traditional promo route of getting locked up for guns and weed and then violating his parole for guns and weed with more guns and weed and then doing a road to redemption reality television show with more guns and weed.

So, what's the next best thing for little Justin Ellen Bieber to get an edgy rap image? Children out of wedlock for $400 Alex. I'm up on game and I'm well aware (allegedly, of course) of what the Bieber media machine is up to (indirectly). Drop Otis ghostwritten 'freestyle', fight paternity suit, set up 2012 for the year of the Bieber rap feature. Smart.

Admitting to banging a broad and denying the kid is rap shit. Don't be surprised if it's in his next ghostwritten rhyme. Bieber on some, "yeah, Billy Jean is my lover but the kid ain't my son and I'll beat that paternity charges like rocky" shit. Justina, I see you.

And now there's a lot of heads having a "he's absolutely right" moment right now.

Well, allegedly, of course.

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